Difficulties in Talking about Money
As a couple you may tend to avoid serious conversations about money because when you do, someone blows up and stalks off. All too often we wrap our money into our identity. Things like how much we make, how we use it, how we save it, and how we spend it, all represent how we perceive ourselves and how we want others to see us.
So when you fight about whether you get the money out of the stock market or invest at the moment when you feel it’s reached its bottom, you are really brushing up against the other’s core identity. You may feel like a risk taker while your partner has a temperament of being cautious. You may have visions of making a killing as the stocks begin to rise again and your partner may be worried that there will be no money left for retirement.
Beyond the temperament issue lays your different families of origin experiences with money. You may have had parents or grandparents who grew up during the depression of 1929 and fear that this is the way things are headed now. Your partner may have had a family inheritance that served as a cushion that allowed moments of wise investing even during a crisis that proved quite profitable.
As a male you may feel quite embarrassed when your company closes out your division through no fault of your own. As a woman, you may be quite proud that your job income can support the family while your husband finds a new job. All of these factors make discussions about money littered with landmines.
Click below for Other Articles by Dr. Walkup
The Financial Crisis and Your Marriage
Understanding the Difficulties in Talking About Money
Six Tips for Talking About Money
What to Do If You Are Stuck
How to Deal with Having to Take Serious Steps
