Usually your partner’s being on a different track from you, can cause you to feel reactive. You may want to throw up your hands, attack, or point out the error of your dear one’s ways.
You probably know how hard you find it to stay out of a judgmental position. You have no doubt learned that when you attack, you only get a good solid defense or even worse, an return of fire about some of your own less than salutary behavior.
Reacting creatively, requires the ability to stop and observe what kind of strong emotions you are having. You don’t have to act on those emotions but simply being aware of them allows you to pick a way of reacting that has the promise of engaging your partner in meaningful discussion.
Such mature freedom to react creatively, often comes from having found your own way to stay centered and grounded. You may learn this through meditation, or journaling or yoga. In finding the freedom to be present to what is coming up emotionally, you can choose judiciously how to respond.
