Now That Your Partner Knows (Part Two)
You may desperately need someone to talk to, but you may fear that your spouse would experience that as a betrayal. Perhaps one of your concerns will focus on the issue of who among your friends, relatives, and even in-laws will have anything to do with you again.
If you feel overwhelmed, despairing, scared by even some of these feelings, trust me, you are well within the norm of what most individuals feel in your position. You are probably having a normal reaction to a very crazy-making situation. It will require more strength and courage that you have ever called up before.
Let me advise you simply not to make any precipitous decisions. The partner you encountered yesterday may be entirely different from the one you meet today. In fact you may wake up each morning wondering how you could have been so defensive the day before. On the other hand, you may wonder how you could find the strength to listen to your partner without becoming defensive. You may even marvel at your ability to step back from the inclination to make your partner the cause of the problem. You may find yourself seeking to be totally sympathetic as you listen to your partner.
Simply allow time for the two of you to decide whether you want to work on the relationship. Making this decision does not mean that you can know ahead of time whether work could make your relationship different. You both have to simply agree to do the research to see if the two of you can build a new relationship altogether.My best to you as you seek to find the strength to do some deep soul searching to see what is right for you and your partner.
Click for More Articles on Extramarital Affair Recovery by Dr. Walkup
Other Resources on the Web:
“The Impact of an Extramarital Affair on the Children:” From the New York Times
“Infidelity:” Statement from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
