Looking for the Key in All of the Wrong Places
You may remember the following story. After dark, a very caring man is walking along a path in the park. He comes across a man on his hands and knees who’s frantically combing through the grass. “What’s wrong ?“ says the caring man.
“I’ve lost my key.”
“Can I help you look?” says the caring man.
“Sure!”
So the caring man gets down on his hands and knees and begins to search as well.
Finally the caring man says, “There’s no key here. Are you sure lost it here?”
The other man replied, “No I lost it way over there, but I don’t like to look where it’s dark. I am afraid of what will happen.
Sometimes if you and your partner have been going over and over the same material and not finding an answer, you might be looking in the wrong place because it feels dangerous to go into other territory. You might be concerned wonder off into unknown ways to find a solution.
The common culprit subjects they may be used all too often
Who’s the bad guy
What’s wrong with you is_________
You are just like one of your parents.
You never loved me in the first place
If you don’t understand me on this, you will never understand me.
Everybody knows that what you should do is_________________
As you slip into these alleys of discussion, the odds are good that you will trigger a retaliatory response. Then the two of you will waste a lot of time feeling misunderstood and despondent. In short you will be looking in the wrong place to resolve the problem
