When you begin your marriage counseling, you will be invited to identify the not so helpful dances that you tend to get stuck in. You may have noticed this happening when one or both of you are feeling tired, depressed or disconnected.
These usually lead to extremely hurt feelings, staying up all night or one or both of you feeling quite distant from the other. Couples can learn to repair these dances after they happen. However if they are repeatedly unaddressed, they lead to a slew of expectations the make both of you feel hopeless about the relationship.
In your relationship counseling, you will learn to stop in midstream and identify what you really want. It may include things like wanting some attention or some time for to get centered.
Each of you can learn to name what you want in a vulnerable way that pulls for your partner’s empathy. From this position you can find ways to meet each other’s needs.
