What To Do If You’re Stuck
Usually a stalemate means you have bumped into an anticipated loss of a deeply held dream or expectation. As you demand that the two of you stick to a budget that eliminates any funds for play of any kind, your partner may consciously or unconsciously go into a funk. He may be experiencing this solution as recreating his childhood where parents did not allow for any fun. If you both can reach underneath to explore what the proposed plan seems to imply for the other, you can discover what kind of prison the financial plan will put you both in.
Then you will have the opportunity to look for inexpensive ways to make room for the need to fill the relationship with inexpensive playtimes. Sometimes a walk in the park and getting a hotdog can feel as pleasurable as a $150 dinner together. Sometimes giving up a vacation in St Thomas can be replaced by a trip to friends who you’ve both been longing to see. You can drive (if it is not too far) and the hotel bill will be eliminated.
In other words, look for different solutions to the needs underneath that are causing the roadblock. To have an open discussion about what the potential plan feels like can lead to new brainstorms. When your partner says, “Frankly I can’t stand to give up my plans for the spa week-end, see what you can come up with together that will feel like a viable alternative that still feels exciting. Turning bedroom and bath into a candlelit spa with carefully chosen aromas and the promise of a bubble bath and a massage may do the trick. You can even order in from the local health food restaurant
Just understand that there are many options for each problem. By finding times to brainstorm when you are not stressed, you can be creative and look for things that you can both be excited about together. Good luck.
Click below for Other Articles by Dr. Walkup
The Financial Crisis and Your Marriage
Understanding the Difficulties in Talking About Money
Six Tips for Talking About Money
What to Do If You Are Stuck
How to Deal with Having to Take Serious Steps
