Discovering your partner is cheating, will cause you a trauma unlike anything else that you have imagined with the possible exception of the death of your child. We human beings are hardwired to reach for connection. When you thought your intimate other had agreed to exclusive commitment and now you know differently, chaos will ensue.
At first you may feel you have no one to turn to. You are justified in your concern because talking to the wrong people can serve to make your life miserable. The best friend that you would want to soothe you through hard times has betrayed you.
Do not attempt to go through this alone. You will need someone who knows the stages of this crisis, who can normalize for you the intensity of the feelings and hold the faith for you that you can come out on the other side.
You will want to know all of the details. Yet right now you will react out of a vulnerable place that will allow the details to pop back into your mind at some of the worst moments. Let me invite you to read through these articles to discover ways to navigate the shoals to move from feeling like a victim to building your life back.
If you live in New York, or Westchester, feel free to call me at 914 548 8645 to talk about whether counseling would be the kind of support that you need.
Of course, you feel betrayed. It’s almost impossible to believe that your beloved could hurt you this much. Everything you thought that you as true or real feels suspect now. Your natural response could kick [...]
1. Is it possible for couples to rebuild their marriage, and specifically rebuild trust, after the discovery of infidelity? Yes, 70% of the couples who decide to make a commitment to extramarital recovery counseling, do [...]
About to say "I do?" Beware -- If your fiance has any of these 5 traits, he'll probably cheat. A client of mine recently called wondering if it would even be appropriate to come in. [...]
It is possible to find hope after betrayal... When Ginny called, the tremble in her voice touched me. Ken had left his phone on, so she did not need the password. She broke her rule [...]
After you have confronted him about the cheating, you may wonder what he is feeling. Since he has betrayed your trust in such a painful way, you may find it hard to believe anything he [...]
Suddenly You Are Reliving Your Worst Memory You're watching a movie, and there's mention of someone having an extramarital affair. Suddenly you find yourself replaying all of the fantasies and feelings that you had [...]
Now that your partner has gotten your attention you’ll need to show good faith by taking action. Express remorse and listen without being defensive. Do not pretend that you don't know what she's talking about. [...]
If you can, simply tell your partner that you want to understand what has led up to this and that you would like see if you can create a new relationship. Of course, your marriage will never [...]
Resist the impulse to pump him or her for details. She will probably only give you w details after she has come to trust that you will not use the details against her. She may [...]