When you turn to your partner...


Perhaps, the two of you simply can not communicate or you have just had a useless fight. You may have even thought of divorce. Yet you know you don’t really want that. Maybe one of you has a job requiring travel or late hours. The time left, goes to your kids. In the middle of the night, you realize you are losing each other. At times of crisis, you wonder if he/she will be there. You know something has to change. I am so glad you have found this web site. Let this be your 911 resource for your crisis. Something has to change and I want to help you. I bring 40 years of experience in helping couples just like you. I can help you regain that “in love feeling” Consider setting up an appointment today before the pain gets worse at 914 548 8645.

Love the One You Love

Be alert: jobs, children, sickness or problems with other family members can be hazardous to your marriage or relationship.  Catch the early warning signs.


If you are concerned about your relationship with your beloved, trust it. Couples often wait up to six years before they seek help even though they have begun to feel distant from each other.

Don’t be a part of this statistic.  By then your pain may have hardened into scar tissue.  Then even your marriage counselor may have trouble bringing you back together.

Most couples will tell me that after they had their children…

Click for More about Loving the One You Love

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7 Feelings of Husband Who’s Had an Affair

After you have confronted him about the cheating, you may wonder what he is feeling.  Since he has betrayed your trust in such a painful way, you may find it hard to believe anything he is saying.


As someone who specializes in extramarital affair recovery, I want to tell you what I have heard many men say.  Since I have heard it repeated so often, I have come to believe these truly represent what many of them are feeling.

1. He had hoped that you would never find out.

In his mind, he may have thought he could get away with it and that he did not….. Click to read further


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Flashbacks-Recall & Reliving of Memories Related to Infidelity

You’re watching a movie and there’s mention of someone having an extramarital affair.  Suddenly you find yourself replaying all of the fantasies and feelings that you had when you learned about the details of your partner’s affair.  You are not just watching a movie but all of the body sensations and anger and hurt race through your body and mind.

What you are experiencing is a flashback.  After 9/11, people would become afraid just looking at beautiful blues skies because that’s what their body remembers seeing right before the planes decimated the world trade center.  Your are having a PTSD like experience.

Others who have not been through a serious trauma will not appreciate your feelings of  vulnerability and defensive anger.  Your partner  feel blown away by the amount of hurt that this flashback has triggered.  He or she  may seek to urge you to move on out of these feelings which will seem like a totally unreasonable demand.

To read more about flashbacks click: Coping with Flashbacks by Matthew Tull

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How To Keep the Sizzle in Your Love Life


Have you lost some of the sensuous feelings you had when you first got married?  Do you sometimes forget that you are attracted to the one you love?

Over time the familiarity does not perpetuate intense erotic desire.  Having children often leads to less intimacy between couples.

If you sense a growing distance between you, click for more

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Dr. Jim Walkup, Director

Call Dr. Jim Walkup for a 10 Minute Telephone Conversation. 914-548-8645

 Associate Therapist Providing Saturday Hours


 Carrie Babe M.S.


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Mid-Manhattan Office:
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115 East 57th Street @ Park Avenue
New York City, NY 10022
914 548 8645

The Counseling Center:
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Bronxville, NY (Westchester County) 10708
914 548 8645