Category Archives: Extramarital Affairs

Resources by Dr. Walkup: Extra-Marital Affair Recovery Specialist

“People think having a good marriage will protect them. But in one study I did, 56 percent of the unfaithful men said they were happily married.” Quote from Newsweek by Shirley Glass

After the discovery of an extramarital affair, your life goes crazy. If you have just found out about the infidelity, you feel like everything you had believed is now false.  The person you thought you could count on has betrayed your trust.  You are enraged at your spouse and yet are disturbed by self-accusations about what you did wrong. You will find yourself feeling very emotional.

Couples in the New York City  or Westchester County area are now particularly vulnerable to extra marital affairs because of the high pressure jobs, and the anonymity of the big city. Most jobs now place individuals in close contact with the opposite sex doing exciting things together.
If you had the extramarital affair, you may be relieved that it’s out but feel racked with guilt about hurting someone you do care about.  You may be wondering if your spouse can ever move beyond this or will it always be something held over you. You probably do not know what to do about the intensity of your partner’s anger, particularly when it keeps coming up over and over again.

Many questions naturally arise. Should you bother with having marriage counseling or does an affair always lead to divorce.  Can you ever trust your partner again.  Is there any hope? Can you survive the hurt?  Will you ever find life together in your relationship if you stay in the marriage? How do you rebuild a relationship after infidelity?

Relationship counseling at this point can often be helpful when attempting to resolve your relationship.

During the crisis and trauma of an extramarital affair, I help couples move into an exploratory stage of discovering ways to rebuild their relationship. We reduce the unhelpful patterns of anger and conflict and begin to create a new story of what led to the affair. I work to help partners uncover the primary feelings underneath their rage. Partners will be invited to share their feelings in ways that invite the partner’s empathy and understanding rather than triggering defensiveness and counter attacks.

During extramarital affair recovery counseling we will create new patterns of interaction, promoting healing and understanding rather than anger and strife. Engaging in relationship counseling after an affair is one of the first steps to building a new relationship. If both partners are willing, relationship recovery can be achieved and a new relationship can be forged.

The following articles can serve as resources for discovering ways you can strengthen the bond that has been shattered by an extramarital affair and begin the rebuilding process. In this, probably the most painful period of your life, couple counseling and the resources on this website can help you discover if a path of healing is possible. Recovering from infidelity demands intense effort on the part of both partners.  But through extramarital affair recovery counseling, many couples have been shocked to realize that the needed the wake up call.  Their marriage will never be the same but better.

My offices are in the New York City area (Mid Manhattan)  and Bronxville (Westchester).

Click for More Articles on Extramarital Affair Recovery by Dr. Walkup

Other Resources on the Web

“The Addictive Power of an Affair”
“Infidelity” provides insight from the American Association of Marriage and Familty Therapists
“The Impact of an Extramarital Affair on the Children”  from the New York Times
How-to-Forgive-Yourself-After-You-Cheat-on-Your-Spouse

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