10 Do’s for Developing Understanding in a Cross Cultural Marriage
1. Do take time to continue to be fascinated by the differences
2. Do learn all you can about the development of your partner’s culture
3. Seek to brainstorm about why in your partner’s world, being this way may have been adaptive and increased survival.
4. Do talk to other couples who share the same cultural differences You will find it fun to hear how they have come to understand and deal with the diversity.
5. Try to understand what the concept of family is all about. Is this a family that values the family more than the individual or vice versa.
6. Do explore how you partner feels about the issues. Do they feel strongly agree with the family or wish with you that the family was not so intrusive for example.
7. Do find time to talk about these issues when you are both relatively relaxed and non-reactive.
8. Stay in a “seek to understand “ modality rather than slipping into the “why does your family and you always want to” modality.
9. Remember that you care about your partner and your relationship and that this can be lost in the upset about discussion of your differences.
10. Do challenge yourself to accept differences as a part of the package that you married into and remember all of the good things you love about your partner.
Click below for other articles by Dr. Walkup on Cross Cultural Marriage
Was I Crazy to Marry Someone from a Different Culture?
One of the Best Kept Secrets for a Happy Marriage
10 Do’s For Creating a Happy Cross-Cultural Marriage
10 Don’ts for Building a Strong Cross-Cultural Marriage
Cultural Expectations Matter
Getting Your Own Needs Met in a Cross Cultural Marriage
Take a Problem Solving Approach